Headgames
by PrettyArbitrary
Summary: They'd locked him in a cell and were wrecking his lab and stealing his data right before his eyes, and the guy was laughing at them. 2003 cartoon.


**Headgames**

Set in the 2003 cartoon continuity (you can probably guess, considering it features the dauntless Agent Bishop). Not mine, blah blah blahblah.

* * *

"You know what's ironic?" Bishop's raspy voice echoed from the glass cell they'd managed to maneuver him into. "I know more about you four than you do." 

The others deftly ignored him in favor of ransacking the lab, but Michelangelo couldn't resist glancing over his shoulder. The man leaned casually against the glass wall, regarding them all with an amused smirk. His eyes flicked toward the youngest turtle, acknowledging his audience. "I know how long you can expect to live. I know what you should be eating for optimal health. I know what all your internal organs do. You probably don't even know exactly what you have inside those shells of yours. I know where all your major arteries and pressure points are... It's fairly amusing, when you think about it."

Bishop didn't care, Mikey realized. They'd locked him in a cell and were wrecking his lab and stealing his data right before his eyes, and the guy was laughing at them. His head swiveled toward Raph to see if his temperamental brother would react to the mockery. "Ignore 'im, Mike," Raph muttered into a filing cabinet. "He's just tryin' to get a rise out've us."

From the set of Don's shoulders, Mikey could tell the comments had caught _his_ attention, but Don had a great poker face. The smartest turtle continued rummaging through the desk he perched on as if Bishop hadn't spoken.

Bishop grinned. "Try the second drawer on the right." Donny stared at him expressionlessly for a moment before cautiously reaching for the drawer and sliding it open. No traps; just paperwork. His fingers riffled dexterously through the files, seizing on one and yanking it.

Raph's jaw set. Despite his words, Bishop was obviously getting to him. Stepping over an unconscious technician, he purposely brushed his arm over some flasks of brightly-hued chemicals. Don's head whipped up and around at the sound of shattering glass. "Watch it, Raph! There's no telling what's in those beakers. You could start a fire, or release noxious gases."

Mike wanted to say something about the turtle biology lesson, but he knew now was not the time. Of them all, only Leo seemed completely unfazed by their captive's nonchalance. He stood on lookout near the door, ears tuned to the hallway and eyes fixed on Bishop, his expression serene. "Don't worry about it, guys. Just grab what we came for. Don, can you pull that computer's hard drive?"

"Easily done." Donny tossed the folder to Raph and pirouetted to the machine on the desk. "This'll only be a sec. Mike, grab those vials on the rack over there." Making for the self Don had gestured toward, Mikey snuck another peek at their prisoner, then shot Leo an unsettled look. This wasn't right, was it? If they were on target, then Bishop wouldn't be so calm. But if they weren't, then Leo or Don would have them out of here by now. Except if he were faking to throw them off; but then Leo would've said something, wouldn't he? Unless he wanted Bishop to think it was working... Ow. This was why he left this thinking stuff to the others.

It must've showed on his face, because Leo met his eyes with one of his patented barely-there smiles. "Just grab Don his test tubes, Mikey. We're out of here in thirty seconds. One of the lab techs triggered a silent alarm."

"I'm not spottin' it, Leo," came Raph's no-nonsense tone.

"It might be on the drive," Don responded, holding up a slim metal box with trailing wires. "If not, then I'm fairly sure..." His eyes cut to Bishop. "I'll be able to make do."

Leo nodded. "Good enough." His gaze lingered on Bishop, the slight smile still on his face and his eyes glittering. "We're out." Their brothers darted for the door, Leo waiting to bring up the rear. Michelangelo hung back too, caught by Leo's odd expression. _What_ was he staring at? Mikey followed his eyes to Bishop's feet. Wait—

"You were _standing_ on the files the whole time?!" He couldn't stop the words from popping out. Leo and Bishop both turned to him, the human favoring him with a bright grin. It looked weird on his face. No wonder it'd been so easy (well, relatively speaking) to back the nutjob into that cell. He'd hidden the files in there. Sneaky bastard!

Then he pinned down Leo's expression. It was his smug face. Of course, Bishop looked pretty pleased with himself, too, which made Michelangelo wonder suddenly who'd won this round. Personally, he'd put his money on Don. Which was good, because he had. So to speak.

"Time to go, Mikey." Leo clapped him on the shoulder, steering him gently toward the door.

"See you later, boys," Bishop's blithe farewell floated out the door behind them.

Taken by a sudden unwillingness to let Bishop have the last word, Mikey spun back to pop his head in the lab. "Yeah, dude. You and your mom! Nyah!"

Leo laughed as Miked darted past him to fall in behind Raph, who growled, "Ooo, now that's stickin' it to him, Mike."

Michelangelo's voice echoed back down the hall behind them. "Dude, do you think he even _has_ a mom...?"


End file.
